O Lord, I'm restless!

I'll be screaming silently
With the heated up that's my hands,
Instead of holding my pencil.
When, I'm reading the printed words,
On the old, blotted papers,
I curse myself for not shedding words at that moment.
When I'm watching Doraemon,
I laugh, at the same time, I cry for not making my own cartoons.
When I'm hanging out with my friends,
I secretly weep, for not reading the novel,
That I left alone at my home.
When I'm watching videos,
My spectacles fight against the rays from my phone,
And, search for the scattered light of my newly bought novels.
When I'm listening my favorite song,
My mind sobs for not learning the musical not.
When I'm cycling, my legs shrieks,
As I don't know to ride a bike.
When I'm attending the seminars and debates,
My mouth oozes blood, as a revenge, for I didn't bleed words.
When I eat delicacies, my tongue beseeches my hands,
To cook between than this.
When I watch a movie,
I cuss myself for not being the director.
More than that, when I sleep,
I torture myself to wakeup,
And, effectuate something productive.
O Lord, are my thoughts, a curse?
Restless I feel, all the time!
O Lord, manifest me a way,
To calm the storm inside me,
To control the feelings being draped around me,
To overpower the anger that's destroying me,
And, to savour my knacks!